Enthralling: Gary Johnson only Eats the O's in Alphabet Soup
While at his local PF Changs Gary made a statement. "I only eat the o's in alphabet soup. I don't eat the a's cause they look like...
Shocking: Johnson Claims Chocolate Milk "Doesn't Actually Come From Chocolate Cows"
Recently the deep-digging investigative team of Tax Free Sheep came across our main man Gary in a complete state of bewilderment. As we...
Busted! Teen Rablerousers Attempt (but fail) to Egg Gary's House
Thankfully, a heinous and illegal crime was stopped last night at Gary's New Mexico residence. His bodyguards Bruce and Willis (no...
Poetic: Gary Bestows Knighthood Upon Daytime Manager at Waffle House
After being fed 8 and 3/8th waffles at his local Waffle House Gary Johnson bestowed knighthood to the daytime manager. We reach out to...
Johnson: I Ordered Fries, Was Given A Cookie Instead
During his annual visit to Subway, Gary Johnson ordered his favorite six inch footlong along with a side of fries. However, Gary– along...
Worrying: Does Gary not know what birds are?
In a chain of leaked emails between Gary and his campaign manager, Gary hints at the fact that he doesn't know what birds are. This is...
Heartwarming: Gary Donates Leftovers to Save Baby Beluga
In just the latest example of the philanthropy and generosity of Gary, he's donating all the remaining leftovers from his 2016...
Convincing: Did Gary Disprove Galileo?
In yet another instance of Gary taking a stand against the status quo, he's taking on some of the most well-funded lobbyists in...
Groundbreaking: King Arthur Proven to be Real and a Gary Johnson
An earthshaking discovery occurred last night in a British archeological dig. Archeologist from the Ivy League schools Harvard, Yale, and...
Johnson: Snow is Just a "Government Conspiracy"
In a recent interview, Gary stated that snow is just a "government conspiracy." Now, at face value, this may seem like a crazy statement,...
