Local Man Forgets to Refuse to File His Taxes
On Wednesday, April 24th, Prembley Wintles was having an otherwise uneventful day. His lawn was mowed, his kids were at school, and he had done his rounds in the neighborhood warning of the evils of the postal service in record time. Suddenly, while trying to open a rather stubborn pickle jar, he was struck with a realization that caused him to both drop the jar and soil himself in shame. Covered in two unique, yet strangely similar smelling yellow liquids, he looked to the sky and cried "DAMN YOU GUVMAMENT [sic]." If it has not been made abundantly clear by this point, Mr. Wintles had just been faced with the fact that he had missed his deadline to protest paying his taxes by a full nine days.
"It really is a damn shame, you know? I had so many things I was gonna not pay for, and just like that* it's gone."
At this point Mr. Wintles seemingly tried and subsequently failed to snap his fingers. He did not appear to notice this failure*
When asked what he planned to "not pay for", Prembley replied "Oh ya know, trees, movie theaters, that sorta thing". We were unable to ascertain whether or not tax dollars went to those institutions, but it is safe to say they do, and they shouldn't. Taxation is, and always will be theft, even if we willingly take part in it.
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