Exciting: Gary Teams With Gal Gadot for 'Wonder Gary' Blockbuster
Gal Gadot radiated brillance as she starred in 'Wonder Woman' earlier this year. It was picture-perfect superheroe filmography. Now, Gary...
I'm Sick of My Tax Dollars Being Stolen by the Government Via My Paper Shredder!
Every year, between baseball season and gladiatorial death match season, an even more painful season occurs: tax season. Sorry folks, but...
Powerful: Gary Calls out GOP Tax Plan
While refusing to pay the taxes on his waffles, Gary Johnson told the waitress the woes on the GOP tax plan. With syrupy hands he grabbed...
Frightening: Gary Isn't Aware of Space
Recent reports have noted that Gary may, in fact, not be aware of the existence of space. Space, the lonly black vast desolate expanse...
Wow: Gary Johnson Announces Waffle House 2
In his local Waffle House, Gary Johnson made a major announcement. With three waffles clenched in his hand and syrup oozing down his...
Rockstar: Gary Rouses Retirement Home with New Spin on Springsteen Hit
Bruce Springsteen was considered the quintessential American hitmaker. In 1984, he released his breakout hit 'Born in the USA.' He...
Inspiring: Gary Supporters Bravely Defend Their Home From Socialist Firefighters
For too long, the authoritarian regime of firefighters has loomed over the people of this country. Their oppressive reign has held this...
Gary Doesn't See What the Big Deal with "Seat belts" Is
In a recent interview with up and coming reporter Lerman Pernescum, Gary described his disinterest in wearing "bungee cords but for...
Confirmed: Gary's Favorite Sport is "Definitely" Laser Tag
Recently there was a viral photo of Gary stealthily exiting one of the premier laser tag arenas in New Mexico, and the world didn't know...
