Minions, Communist Propaganda?
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While using our patented mind enhancing sauce* one of our brave researchers uncovered a secret communist ploy. The lovable Minions are actually communist propaganda. Think about it, Minions wear blue overalls just like the commies do, and like the commies minions speak gibberish.
The soviets are using minions to brainwash our children. We are doomed if this is allowed to continue. To end this soviet incursion extreme measures must be taken. The children corrupted by these evil minions must be fixed. Every single minion must be burned and its ashes flung into the ocean.
*mind enhancing sauce = 3 hours in a small room huffing plastic epoxy glue.