Rockstar: Gary Rouses Retirement Home with New Spin on Springsteen Hit

Bruce Springsteen was considered the quintessential American hitmaker. In 1984, he released his breakout hit 'Born in the USA.' He brought tears to patriotic Americans with its easygoing sound. But soon enough, they found out the truth. 'Born in the USA' was secretly outed as an anti-American song. Bruce Springsteen was exposed as a corporatist, anti-American, globalist, establishment figure.

Then came Gary.

Home for the Old, a mostly elderly and social security ridden audience, graciously accepted Gary just last night as he rode in on his private, non-globalist limo that was paid for by the donations he received from contributing his leftovers to save the baby beluga in Florida.

Gary started off the shop with his classic hits like 'RollerCoastingThroughtheUSA,' 'Canada Sucks,' 'Smokehouse for All,' and 'SurfingThroughAmerica' (a spin on Gary's original 'smoking pot through America').

Gary brought the house down with his boyz. Trying to make right the sins of Springsteen, he made 'Born in the USA' a true pro-American hit. He started off by referencing his favorite pro-American sentiments "girls," "trucks," "beer," and "the devil's lettuce." His libertarian supporters in the audience, although small, went mad screaming "gimme some more of that Gary" (it's not clear what they were referring to).

Frankly, this isn't the first audience to be roused by Gary. Tax Free Sheep certainly will continue to cover the diverse talents of Gary--especially his dabbles in the music biz.