Gary Doesn't See What the Big Deal with "Seat belts" Is

In a recent interview with up and coming reporter Lerman Pernescum, Gary described his disinterest in wearing "bungee cords but for people".

"To me, it just doesn't seem that useful. I can see the value in having some kind of harness in a crash, but I doubt that a little piece of metal you sit on will do you much good. Hell, mine usually comes out my pants on my drive home at least once or twice." Gary explained. "The worst part is that awful cord it's attached to, it always wants to pull it out. Eventually I just give up and crash the car myself.