Uplifting: Gary Johnson and Kanye West are Hiding in Waffle House Garbage Dumpster
On Wednesday night a local Waffle House waitress made an amazing discovery. As she took out the trash she found Gary Johnson and Kanye...
Move Over Jeb Gary Johnson has a New Best Friend
In a shocking turn of events Gary Johnson has left Jeb Bush for a cooler friend, Kanye West. Gary and Kanye first met while both men were...
Apparently You Still Have to Pay Taxes Even if You Don't Believe in Them
This is bullshit, the IRS is auditing me over "tax fraud". The Libtard Globalists at the IRS claim that you have to pay taxes even if you...
Breaking Barriers: Gary Leaves Women Behind and Chooses to Marry an Off-Road Bicycle
Gary Johnson has once again made history by shattering the status quo. His target this time? The government's stringent, regressive...
Guys, Gary Doesn't Understand what a Bird is
While eating with the boys at Dennis Chavez Elementary School, Gary Johnson revealed an interesting fact about himself. The boys started...
Jeb Bush likes Sonic the Hedgehog Way too Much.
Jeb Bush has a new obsession after his wife Columba Bush told him he can't, "play addicting games all night." Jeb has chosen to become a...
Breakthrough: Area Man Deciphers "Texas" Just an Anagram for "Taxes"
Holy shit guys, this is insane. Last weekend, Chumb McGrumb, a longtime local of Nampa, Idaho, made a bold discovery that has Washington...
Did Gary Johnson Accidentally Commit Domestic Terrorism?
Gary Johnson might have gotten caught up in a bit of a hullabaloo with the FBI. As the paragon of kindness that he is, Gary wanted to...
Libraries: Who's Pulling the Strings?
Libraries; We've all seen them, we've all met our local Library Wrangler, a few of us have even gone inside. But who's really running...
Holding Out Hope: Some Experts Speculating That Gary Can Still Win
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