Sewage: The Latest Assailant on Our Freedoms
It's time to get scared people. If recent leaks are to be trusted, we may be facing the single greatest threat to our personal...
Local Man Forgets to Refuse to File His Taxes
On Wednesday, April 24th, Prembley Wintles was having an otherwise uneventful day. His lawn was mowed, his kids were at school, and he...
Did Gary Johnson Accidentally Commit Domestic Terrorism?
Gary Johnson might have gotten caught up in a bit of a hullabaloo with the FBI. As the paragon of kindness that he is, Gary wanted to...
Revolutionizing the Industry: Gary's plan for privatized garbage disposal
In a quiet suburb of Bennington, Vermont, homeowners were surprised and disturbed when they heard a man yelling in the street while...
Gary and Jeb are Sieging a Bass Pro Shop
The sounds of trebuchets (the superior siege weapon) echoed all around a local Bass Pro Shop. Outside the store around 28 LARPers and 3...
Gray's Wild Day
Gary Johnson woke up and begins to start his morning routine. He starts off by calling his bestie Jeb Bush using his phone. Gary keeps...
Is Gary Johnson the Muffin Man?
On Sunday hundreds of residents of Spokane Washington reported finding muffins in their mailboxes. After a ten minute Bing search our...
Gary Outraged by Trump's "Shithole" Remarks
SEATTLE - We caught up with Gary to get his opinion on Trump's controversial alleged remarks wherein he referred to certain poorer...
