Whatever America, It's Not Like Gary Even Wanted the Presidency...
After striking claims regarding Gary's "pathetic loss", we've been forced to speak up. Newsflash, voters. Gary didn't actually want to...
Confirmed: Gary's Favorite Sport is "Definitely" Laser Tag
Recently there was a viral photo of Gary stealthily exiting one of the premier laser tag arenas in New Mexico, and the world didn't know...
Convincing: Did Gary Disprove Galileo?
In yet another instance of Gary taking a stand against the status quo, he's taking on some of the most well-funded lobbyists in...
Amazing: The Iron Giant was Inspired by Gary Johnson
Outside of a Waffle House, Bard Bird made a shocking announcement. Gary Johnson was the inspiration for the heartwarming tale The Iron...
Johnson: who drives in the right lane on the highway anyways?
In another stroke of genius that would make Einstein eat his own hands, Gary Johnson has spoken out against drivers who reside in the...
