Whatever America, It's Not Like Gary Even Wanted the Presidency...
After striking claims regarding Gary's "pathetic loss", we've been forced to speak up. Newsflash, voters. Gary didn't actually want to win that much. He was only doing it because you guys wanted him to.
Indeed, Gary was never that interested in being president, so stop asking. He only lost because he let the other guy win, whatever his name is.
"We're not mad, okay? God, is that all you guys care about? I SAID WE'RE NOT MAD." stated a staffer.
