"This country has been behind for far too long": Inside Gary's Plan to Get Kids Smokin
In a monumental speech delivered from his Aztek into the Burger King drive-thru window, Gary has outlined his long awaited plan to put...
Gary Pledges to Fix Unemployment Among 6-12 Year Olds
Finally, someone is here to speak out against the real issues. In an impromptu speech while waiting in line for a Cinnabon, Gary made a...
Gary and Jeb Trade Pogs
World-renowned besties Gary Johnson and Jeb Bush love trading Pogs. Their favorite trading spot is right outside a local kindergarten....
Oh Shoot Gary is Stuck in Minecraft
While savoring the crisp, cool taste of Mr. Pibb an unexpected accident happen. Gary spilled some Mr. Pibb on his Acer laptop. The...
Gary Really Likes BeyBlades
Like a true patriot, Gary Johnson fights the Globalists using his sick BeyBlade skillz. Using his powerful Valtryek Gary shows no mercy...
