"This country has been behind for far too long": Inside Gary's Plan to Get Kids Smokin

In a monumental speech delivered from his Aztek into the Burger King drive-thru window, Gary has outlined his long awaited plan to put America back on top: getting minors involved with cigarettes.

"For decades, the US has sat idly by as other countries outpace us in tobacco consumption, person for person, child for child."

Reports say that the drive-thru employee began to weep uncontrollably, and was seen shoveling extra sauce packets into Gary's bag as he talked.

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