Alarming? Gary Johnson Auditons for Super Bowl Halftime Show

In a wild turn of events, Gary Johnson has recently announced that he is going to audition to perform at the halftime show of super bowl 52. This may be alarming because Gary has auditioned for the same job every year for the past 25 years, and is yet to be chosen. It is truly unfortunate that everything Gary tries to audition for is rigged against him. Hopefully one day Gary is finally allowed to realize his dream of performing at the super bowl while "smoking a fat doobie wrapped in my hard earned dollars the government is trying to steal from me by taxes."