Recently Revived Man Demands to be "Re-Coma'd" After Learning About Gary's Loss
Chaos erupted in the Albuquerque Coma Ward when Bory McTickler, age 58, commanded the doctors to "put him back".
This bizarre spectacle is one of many recent events triggered by the delayed reaction to Gary's loss. It seems that many people who have gone comatose between campaign season and now are less than satisfied with the country they woke up to.
"It's a waking nightmare. I don't care that I'll never see my wife or kids again, I just wanna go back!" Shouted Bory McTickler, while doctors tried to calm him.
Eventually they were able to get Mr. McTickler stable, but his psyche is far from whole. Even now he remains in the facility, borderline catatonic. As of this articles creation, he is still in his hospital bed, watching Gary's campaign ads.