Dreadful: Gary Has a Tooth Infection--Are Globalists to Blame?

Tragic breaking news hit Tax Free Sheep late last night when we learned that Gary is currently suffering from a tooth infection. Medical personnel privvy to the dentist appointment tell The Sheep that Gary is currently in remission and relaxing with his family in sunny New Mexico.

With good reason, Gary supporters are shocked and worried. Nevertheless, they remain resilient. Thousands of Gary supporters are standing in solidarity with Gary by infecting their own teeth as well. One supporter told The Sheep that he plans to infect every one of his teeth so that every moment he can be reminded of Gary's pain.

The real question, however, is whether globalists secretly infected Gary's tooth. Even while libertarians like Gary are known to not brush their teeth or see a dentist regularly, Tax Free Sheep has reason to believe that the globalist media was behind the hit.

Insider sources tell us that members of corporate, globalist media companies wanted to get the news off of Matt Lauer by infecting one of Gary's right molars. It's not clear how they did this or if Gary's personal chef Shannelle is involved. But these revelations are enough to warrant a serious look into the globalist media.