Gary Johnson: Sports Inspiration?

Some of you esteemed and enlightened readers may be aware that the Minnesota State High School League hosted the state tournament for Men's soccer throughout this past week. There were many great games, all played at the U.S. Bank Stadium (side note: payed for with taxpayer money). In the end, a team that showed true dominance in the "A" class was Totino-Grace High School, and another dominant showing from Wayzata High School in the "AA" class. These teams consist of gifted individuals who put in many hours of hard work, but what distinguishes them from the rest of the pack? I mean, don't all high school soccer programs practice almost as much as they do? Do these teams just have better coaches? Or did they just get lucky? Before you develop brain trauma from thinking about this problem too hard, let me shed a new light on subject. It is well known that Gary Johnson was a runner on the track team during his high school years as he attended Sandia High School in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and hasn't stopped running since. He successfully ran twice to be governor of New Mexico, and has run twice as the Libertarian Party candidate in the 2012 and 2016 presidential elections. He was less successful in these presidential elections, however this is due to reasons that you have no doubt been made aware of by our esteemed journalists here at Tax Free Sheep News. So clearly, Gary is an inspiration in running, which also happens to be the basis for most sports on the planet. Humans were meant to run, we have been running since bipedal organisms came into existence. Originally, our running was meant for hunting down prey to feed our families, but it has since developed into a means of sport, government, competition, and everything in between - as is made evident by Gary's spectacular past. So truly, Gary is an inspiration in the field of athletics, but how does this relate to winning soccer state championships? I'm glad you asked. It is clear that Gary is the influence on these high caliber teams that brings them to the next level, as he provides a splendid example of running, the basis for soccer. In fact, some of these high caliber athletes that populate these teams are readers of this blog. Clearly, these athletes were able to channel this inspiration from Gary into splendid athletic performances, and as a result have been crowned state champions.